It’s World Mental Health Day. I felt prompted to share this meditation that I co-produced (original score by Muhsinah) for a beautiful project on mental health in collaboration on with Evelyn of the Internets* with you to encourage you to take time to breathe and rest this evening. And if you’re up to it, I invite you to reflect on your own mental health journey as it relates to spiritual health.
As many of you know, I experienced a mental health crisis two years ago.
On the heels of several years of leadership as the founder of Black Girl In Om, as a wellness practitioner, and as a rather public figure who excitedly leaned into, rather than away from, opportunities to shine my light and share my gifts publicly, I unraveled and withdrew. Not just from social media, but also from most people in my life as I entered into a really dark space and sunk into confusion, shame, and fear.
I have spoken about this previously but for so many years, prior to this moment I turned away from my Christian upbringing and identified myself as a ‘spiritual seeker’ and as ‘spiritual, not religious.’ From yoga to Vedic meditation to breath work and energy healing, I bounced around from one spiritual practice to another and always shared from a place of sincerity and enthusiasm what I found helped me feel more whole, more healed, more enlightened. From 2019 through 2022 I shifted towards African Traditional Religion that I was told was my inheritance and what would heal me. Ultimately, deepening into it (against persistent whispers from the Holy Spirit to withdraw) almost ended my life.
In my pursuit of healing myself and my lineage, I ended up entering the darkest of spaces. And in the midst of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation, I was saved by the God that I had rejected ten years prior in my pursuit for healing outside of Him. In returning to a relationship with Christ, I have been gifted peace that passes all understanding, a deep gift and promise of eternal life in the presence of the Creator, and I long for more of us to expand into that peace and eternal life, too.
You have your journey, your own distinct experience with faith, and your own set of beliefs. Wherever you find yourself, I want to encourage you to consider the tender connection between spiritual health and mental health. A few questions for you to consider and perhaps even pray about as it relates to this connection:
Do you understand the character of God? In my return to Christianity, I have had to unlearn/relearn who God is and remain committed to discovering who He is as evidenced in His Word and my daily experience of Him, rather than who I want to fashion Him to be or imagine Him to be based off of my own projections. I recognize that particularly in the years that I adopted and advocated for New Age spiritual beliefs I was creating my own sense of who God was based off of what I wanted God to be. I also embraced myself as “god with a little ‘g’”…while I know there are many beautiful and powerful things about how God has created me, I no longer believe I have that power, nor do I desire it. I’m grateful to have a God who provides for me, protects me, and knows what’s best for me.
Do you spend intentional time with God? What does this time consist of? Requests? Gratitude? Do you share your emotions, fears and frustrations in equal measure to your hopes, dreams, desires? Get curious about this.
Do you have a community of faith? I didn’t have one until I prayed for one and then God brought me one in a month’s time through the form of an aligned church, as well as a weekly Bible fellowship community with other Black women of faith and women of color of faith. For me, community has strengthened my spiritual health and mental health. Because it did so much for me, I also created an intimate and casual space for Black women and women of color to deepen into Christ centered wellness through Bible study, prayer, and community. If you’re interested in hearing more, you can express your interest here.
What is your spiritual and emotional response in times of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm? Do you pray? Do you connect with spiritually grounded individuals and seek emotional and spiritual support (such as prayer)? Do you ruminate? Do you complain, actively consider the worst?
That’s enough a reflect on for now. I mostly hope you enjoy the meditation. I hope to create scripture-based guided meditations and prayers to share with you all. I continue to be led day by day in focusing first on rebuilding my spiritual foundation on the One who heals all, cultivating the fruits of the Spirit, and from that place of rootedness in Him, sharing outwards and guiding community.
Here are a few of my favorite reminders in scripture that strengthen my faith in God’s healing power that I believe are available to all of us:
“For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
“Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” John 14:27
“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.” Psalm 40: 1-3
That’s all for now. Much love to you wherever you are on your journey.
*Revisit this project we worked on together here.
A Meditation for Black Girls Everywhere